Basic Counselling Skills by Kenneth Kelly

Author:Kenneth Kelly [Kelly, Kenneth]
Language: eng
Format: azw3
Publisher: Counsellor Tutor Ltd.
Published: 2017-05-16T04:00:00+00:00

Purpose of Confrontation

Of course, ‘confront’ can also mean ‘face up to and deal with’. So maybe it’s about the client facing up to and dealing with whatever it is that’s going on for them. So why might we, as counsellors, use challenge within the therapeutic relationship?

Sometimes, a client – in bringing their material – might show an incongruence or mismatch between their thoughts and their feelings. We can’t see this because it happens internally, but very often the client will give us a clue by saying something like, ‘I shouldn’t really be feeling like this.’ Within the emotional world of this client, they’re feeling a heaviness or pain, but within their head (cognitively), there’s a thought that’s saying, ‘I shouldn’t be feeling this way.’

Where else might we see a mismatch? It might be between the client’s words and body language. For example, they might say, ‘I’m OK. I can cope with this. I have no choice,’ yet the tears are streaming down their face, their head falls into their hands and they sob as they speak. So despite those words of apparent coping, the body language is very clearly showing extreme pain and emotional distress; there is a definite incongruence.

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